Last month, I had the honor of delivering the keynote address at the Pilipinx Graduation Ceremony at University of California, Merced. It was such a privilege to share my experiences of navigating life post-grad as a first generation Filipino-American and fellow UC grad (UC Davis). I often get approached by young people asking for career advice, and I am consistently truthful and transparent about my journey because I believe they deserve an honest and clear roadmap for the future from someone that not only looks like them, but who also shares their lived cultural experience. It’s a resource that I didn't have during the early parts of my journey, and had I did, I think it would have saved me from a lot of mental distress.
That being said, as we welcome Asian Pacific American Heritage Month & Mental Health Awareness Month, I thought I’d share a few snippets from my speech. If you or someone else you know could use a little picker-upper, I invite you to read on :)
On developing the right Mindset:
As a first generation Filipino-American, it’s important for me to share that I put myself through college working three jobs. As the eldest in a modest, immigrant family, my parents were unfortunately unable to support the financial burden of an American university at the time. While it was really difficult, supporting myself through college meant I had the freedom to choose my area of study. And trust me, you tend to value your education a lot more when you’re the one investing in it. From a young age, I learned that I could do hard things, giving me the courage, discipline, and resilience to know that nothing was impossible. That mindset was probably more valuable than anything I learned in the classroom.
So the first lesson I want to impart is about having the right mindset. The way you see the world is exactly how you experience it. The way you see yourself is exactly how the world sees you. At any moment, you can choose to be the victim or the victor in your life. If you choose to view every challenge as an opportunity to grow, you will continue to win. I have to admit, there were moments when I felt sorry for myself when I couldn’t enjoy spring break trips like my classmates and instead, had to work. But instead, I viewed it as an opportunity to cultivate my independence,a strong work ethic, and the confidence to overcome virtually anything. This laid the foundation for achieving the “impossible”, again and again. If you choose to see the opportunity in every challenge, you’ll always end up winning.
On living your truth:
I’ve learned that there is nothing more unsafe than forcing yourself into a life that doesn't align with your truth. I hope you all have the courage to live your most authentic self, regardless of what that means for you. In our culture and our society, we tend to fear going against the grain, but I hope you are brave enough to live your life on your own terms. For me, that meant pursuing a creative career despite the fact that it was not as accepted or understood the way it would have been if I chose a more traditional path. But I’ll say it again: there is nothing more unsafe than forcing yourself into a life that doesn’t reflect the truth of who you really are, and what your true gifts can do.
On Imposter Syndrome:
After graduate school, I was offered my first job in France – a role as the Communications Project Manager on the Social Responsibility Team at the Moet Hennessy Louis Vuitton Group (known as LVMH), the conglomerate that owns brands such as Louis Vuitton, Christian Dior, Givenchy, and Fendi.
There was a time in my life where I didn’t even feel comfortable walking in those stores. I never thought in a million years that this Filipina girl from the suburbs of Sacramento would one day have a seat at those tables, working alongside the most prestigious brands in the world. I have to admit that there were moments during my time there where I felt imposter syndrome, especially when I was often the only woman of color in the room. In those moments, what gave me courage is something that Oprah once said when she was quoting Maya Angelou: “I come as one, but as I stand as 10,000”. At any moment when you feel the pangs of imposter syndrome, remember that our ancestors did not fight this hard or sacrifice this much for our lives just for us to play small. So even if you are 5 foot 2…know you have everything you need within you to stand tall.
On Rejection and Failure:
When you set off to pursue your dream, failure and rejection are inevitable, but the good news is, adversity is a gift.
To me, I see failure and rejection as badges of honor. It’s proof that you went out there and tried, and I believe that’s worth celebrating. Every time someone has done something new or attempted something that’s never been done before, there will always be failed attempts. But that’s how innovation happens. There is no such thing as failure, only lessons.
I also think it’s high time that we normalize rejection, because it’s just part of the process, especially when you’re in the creative field like me. Over time, I’ve learned to view rejection as protection, a way for life to redirect me to the things that are truly aligned for my highest good. Because when I look back, I can truly say that I am grateful for all the things that I didn’t get. Failure and rejection taught me humility, grace, and compassion for myself and for others. Because true champions aren’t only made in the victories, but rather, in how they handle the losses.”
Did any of these resonate with you? If so, do let me know. I love hearing from you! In the meantime, I’m rooting for all of you. In the spirit of the NBA playoffs, I’m wishing you all some wins (and a championship mindset along with it).
Go get ‘em,
Ruby
If you’d like to collaborate for your campus event, check out my work with Universities here.
For more on establishing a ‘winning mindset’ regardless of external circumstances, I also invite you to listen in to this podcast episode where I interview one of my dear friends, Dr. Kumiko Endo, on how she incorporates her Buddhist faith into her daily life to help her feel strong and positive. (You don’t have to be Buddhist to enjoy this! So much of her advice is universally relevant and actionable.)