home
This morning, my dad sent my sister and I an email with a powerpoint document attached- it was labeled “Nostalgic Manila”. My dad sends my sister and I random emails daily- chain letters, food label warnings, gas saving money tips, horoscopes- but admittedly, with my swarming inbox, I don’t always read them. (Eeek…sorry, Pa.)
But this morning, I actually downloaded the attachment and took a look. It was a powerpoint that collected various images of Manila, the city I grew up in, and I realized how much I want to go home. Lately, I’ve been feeling caught in the middle- like I’m in midair or something, trying to figure out where home is. I’m moving out of Oakland soon, moving back to Sacramento for a few weeks, then transplanting my entire life to New York City. My heart is in all sorts of different places. I feel sad to leave Oakland, but know my heart and my dreams are calling me to go all the way on the other side of it. I’m incredibly excited to move to NY, but I’m nervous and scared too. So many transitions and changes since this year started, and I’m navigating through it all as gracefully as possible.
And all the while, I’ve been craving to go back home. Real home, where I was born and raised. I don’t know how much I belong there anymore, but I want to find out. I want to walk down Roxas boulevard and see the lanterns at night. I want to see my grandparents, hug my cousins. I want to see banana trees, wake up right before the day starts, and feel the sun and humidity settle in the air and onto my skin. Or maybe I just want to feel my past so I can move forward..
A new chapter is starting. I think I want to revisit the prologue for a moment so I know I’m writing the plot just right. At least I know I’m on the right page.
it is written.
This video came right on time- My homies, Deep Foundation, released their new video, “Children of the Sun”, and it fits SO appropriately for today’s nostalgia.
