Write or Die Chick. Thoughts on the Writing Process.
as things be/come
lets destroy
then we can destroy
what we be/come
lets build
what we become
when we dream
- Word Poem, Nikki Giovanni
must journal today. need to clear out guilt for not working on the book yesterday or today. easter sunday called my body to take the sleep its been needing. woke up today and couldn’t write for the life of me. mind is a big fog. been thinking way too much about this book, i’m scared it will never be done. but IT WILL, darnit, it WILL!
leaving atlanta on thursday. argh, the book still isn’t done. have to accept that its okay, that i have to celebrate and accept the progress as it is.
ishle sent back edits last week. i laid out the book with new writings, edited out some of the old ones, on my way to writing new ones. why is writing so hard sometimes? i been looking at all my own words for this long, im starting to question if any of them are any good. then i think of all the golden children im among, and wonder, oh dear, can my work can shine with them?
doesn’t help that i’m the slowest writer i know. some poets write in a fluid stream, i sit for hours on end trying to embroider the exact right words. sometimes, i get so frustrated, sitting on my desk for six hours only to be left with one stanza.
ahh mans. i really hope you’ll like the book when it comes out. been working pretty hard, been putting all my heart into it. thats the thing about being an artist- all the work is truly, a labor of love. i’m offering such a vital piece of myself to the world, with hopes that it can be understood. sigh.
my mind doesn’t want to function today. can’t force art, everyone knows that. send me some inspiration, yes?
my lesson in atlanta is letting go. gotta give myself the freedom to do just that.
