Orient-ATLien Day 1: On Ridiculous Flights, Being Asian in Birmingham, and Mail-Order Brides.

What a day, yall. My first day in the South has been bananas. And throw in the fact that I’m a Filipino in the South, and things get a little more interesting. I am in the realization of ‘Orient-atlien’ to its fullest- and oh dear, fam, it’s only day one.

Part I: Day started with the most appallingly ridiculous flight in my transit history: I caught an afternoon flight out of Philly, but I had a bit of an issue: I couldn’t get a better priced flight out to Atlanta, so I settled for a Delta (roc!) airline flight to Birmingham, Alabama, which is two hour drive by ground shuttle to the A.

A two hour drive sounds fair enough, except the flight had a a frigging layover in Atlanta!! I put on my sweetest face at the Delta check-in desk and asked if there was any way my luggage and I can de-plane during the layover (I mean, it only made sense! Why would it be cheaper to hop back on a plane and do more flying when I can just get off at my stop?) Unfortunately, (and somewhat surprisingly), my sweet face didn’t work with the stone-faced flight clerk who sternly replied, “No. Not unless you re-write your ticket. That costs money.”

Disappointed, I boarded my plane. “Fine,” I muttered under my breath. When we landed in Atlanta, my heart sank. It was calling, “Aww, Atlanta!!” I was so near, but so, so far away. I boarded another plane and watched Atlanta with fingers grasping the plane window, devastated that I was flying away only to drive right back. (Ridiculous, I tell you, ridiculous.)

Part II: After an entire day on the plane, I arrive at Birmingham and meet a man named Chuck*, who was also taking the Atlanta shuttle with me. He seemed a nice enough fellow, so I didn’t mind sharing conversation with him. (I mean, we would be sharing a ride for two hours, so why not.) Then I met our driver, an old man by the name of Jax*, whose Southern twang correctly indicated that he has lived his entire life in Birmingham, Alabama (this might be quite presumptuous of me, but an alert sounded in my head that my asian-ness is probably quite unusual right about now). Still, both men were very nice and very accommodating to me, so I felt pretty at ease about the journey. I mean, anything to get my a-s-s to the a-t-l, nahmean?

Everything was going smoothly, until, midway through the drive, Jax looks over his rearview mirror at me and asks, (with southern twang in full effect) “So, Ruby, what is your ethnic background?”

Halt. Oh dear. Here we go.

Ruby: I’m Filipina.
Jax: Oh, so you’re ‘Filipine’?

(Grrreeeat….he’s calling me ‘Filipine’. Not Filipina, or Filipino…but Filipine. Wow.)
So, how long did it take you to get here? I know someone who married a ‘Filipine’ before. Half his age, in fact. Took him a long time to get her over here, you know? Do all ‘Filipine’ women like American men?
Ruby: Ummm..well…I date all kinds of men…Filipino Americans, Asian Americans…African Americans…Latino Americans…
Jax: No, I mean ‘Caucasian American’ men. Is that a ‘Filippine’ thing? I been seein it round here.
Ruby: No, not necessarily, I mean, everyone has their preference, I suppose.

Chuck, in his attempt to appear open minded, offers, “Well, you know, you see people marrying that way all the time, Ukraine, Russia, everywhere, really.”

I was a bit relieved, that was a decent save. Until…

Chuck: Actually, I’m seeing a Filipino woman right now. I mean, I really like Asian women. The way they look, I mean, I just find them really, really sexy.

Oh grreeeeat. Alert: he has a festish.

Then he turned around and suggested we exchange information and “keep in touch”.

Wow.

I compromised and gave him my email. Then I turned up my iPod and bumped “Da Art Storytelling” parts 1 and 2 on repeat until we passed the Georgia state line.

So here’s my art of story telling. First day in Georgia, yall.

The journey may have been long and strange, but as soon as Aisha opened the door squealing when she picked me up at the airport, and Fahamu hugged me tight and smiled, “Welcome to Atlanta, Ruby,” I instantly felt completely, indubitably, at home.

Day one and I’m already lovin it yall. Miss you!

*names have been changed to protect that charmingly ignant.

With all my love,
Ruby

This entry was posted on Friday, March 7th, 2008 at 1:03 pm. It is filed under atlanta, georgia, orient-ATLien, orient-ATLiens. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.